Funnily, you tend to choose the people you wish to spend your toughest year with. It's not a nice feeling. When i went through being unemployed and education-less, i was absolutely embarrassed and upset trying to explain my thoughts and feelings to people. I almost became a hermit. It's (Obviously) not fun.
However, i feel that everything happens for a reason and there is almost, always a lesson to learn from every downfall.
I re-entered the special education sector and am now a special education teacher once again. There may be much more to accomplish but i am satisfied with where i am, for now and i am going to just heave a huge sigh of relief for being able to re-enter the sector in which my passion always lay in.
Through the year 2009, there were 2 very, very important people who never judged me. They never questioned me, they encouraged me and they kept me sane. I will never forget the help they gave me and i will never underestimate the power of friendship and love.

As i returned back to school, i saw some of my old pupils. I was amazed at how they've grown and matured (and how they still remembered me as Teacher. Rev). It was incredible hearing how some of my pupils have graduated and moved on to mainstream schools and other special ed schools for older kids. Indeed satisfying to hear things like that. For a child with autism to progress in such a manner is indeed a major achievement for him, his parents' and every single teacher who has taught him.
I remember PM lee mentioning on how he wishes that Singapore becomes an "open and inclusive city". Inclusive, i hope, to accept people with special needs. To do so, i feel people need to be educated, informed and given the opportunity to interact.
I came across a book in the library titled "Look me in the eye" by John Elder Robison. A biography of his life living with asperger. What is asperger? It's an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) which is milder than autism but shares similar symptoms. Being a biography, a life account, you can see yourself being drawn into the way someone with asperger syndrome would think. There are parts of the story which make u laugh, giggle and even tear. It is such a good read.
As teachers, we are constantly told that we are the bridge to which the kids we teach are able to connect to the world out there. But even as teachers, we can never really understand what or why they behave the way they do at times. But then again, we aren't mind readers. We're merely educators.
I hope that people become more well informed about ASD and not just learn it as a module or a tiny chapter in their tertiary education. It's really more than that.

Happy Birthday to...ME! Haha! That sounds pathetic, but i'm 23 and i deserve the advertisement.
On the note of being pathetic,
I was just thinking, it's soo easy for us to say "She wouldn't know what it feels to be in my position." When you think about it, it's quite pathetic. I recently said that to myself not too long ago when I had a, hmm, friend sorta cackle (sure did sound evil) over the phone when i was explaining my plight. I'm not being the bigger person here writing down my assumptions but when i hung up and over the course of the few days that past after, i found myself saying "what will she know".
Very pathetic.
I apologise to that friend for assuming that her laugh was mocking and i apologise for not thinking she would understand. I do know she has been through her fair share of shit the past 2 years, and honestly, my life in comparison, is a bed of roses. Whether she knows its her i'm talking about i dont know, but i just feel better knowing that my mind has been cleared of thinking the way i did.

I agree soo strongly on how we tend to live on expectations and expecting too much from people and vice versa. It makes life miserable. Stop it.

Plans

So last year (seems soo long ago), was a rather unfruitful one for me, i gotta admit. I had my fair share of travelling at the first quarter of the year, but the rest of the year was spent groaning, fault finding, self loathing, self pitying... I know i havent been showing much of that side of me in here, but trust me, it happened.
What i'm grateful for is the travelling i managed to do. It may have all been in the same country, but i'm glad i at least got around and experienced a different part of the world.
I loved sydney, I'm glad i managed to travel beyond Perth and see freemantle and the wineries in Swan Valley. I loved the feeling of familiarity, stepping on Adelaide soil once again. Never underestimate the little time spent in a country.
Last year brought about much self discovery. It taught me to appreciate the value of money, education and friendship.
For the first time in my life, i found myself feeling soo alone in the company of certain people whom i used to feel close to. Sad, but that's reality.
At the same time, i found more love in other friendships that have always been close to my heart.
I've learnt that being grateful is one thing and showing gratitude is another.
Families and relatives change. And most of the time you just got to grin and bear and wish you didn't have to put up with all the family politics that goes around.
I love my parents tremendously. I spent a large part of last year questioning them and their love for me but i've come to realise that parents, at the end of the day, are the people who brought you into the world, who gave you all they could and want to see you do well.
I'll remember the past year for many things. The good and the bad. The sad and the happy moments. It made me a stronger person and it made me realise how absolutely ugly people can get. It allowed me to do some self-discovery and it was the year that taught me to take risks.
As i face a new year, 2010, as i grow a year older, I'm more sure than ever that I know what i'm doing with my life and I'm glad it came to me in the nick of time.
I'm going to work towards my resolution. I'm gonna keep people close to my heart. I'm gonna be a changed me.

P.S. i Love the twister fries too.