I'm not his family nor his best friend. Definitely not his best girl pal or even a sms buddy. i spent a mere 3-4 months hanging out with him, yet i feel that horrible squeeze of my heart and the need to just move far, far away whenever i hear his name or see a picture of him. i don't think i or WE (his family and friends.)will ever get over it. at times when i'm walking home alone i can still hear his voice in the phone conferences that we had. i just hope his best friends and family are doing fine. I'm going to miss his 3-day early birthday msgs that he always sent me for the past 3 years. really, truly, dearly missed. he's taught me more than i can imagine.
it's been a little over 3 weeks since i've started teaching. for those who haven't been updated, i'm a special education teacher (with a lot to learn). everyday is a new experience and everyday i learn something new from the kids. i am currently working with kids with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) and ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and i can tell that i'm gonna miss them soo soo much when i leave next year to go further my studies. it's been such an eye-opening and fulfilling experience so far, and i really hope i get to further venture into this field when i am done with my degree.
apart from that, im really looking forward to meet-ups with those i havent seen in a long, long time, namely rit, sam, ros, haowie, pri- fa- sha(met u guys last weekend but am missing you guys already. alone?) and skinny (one more time before you go into full-time mugger mode).


It's lonely where you are, come back down,
and i won't tell them your name.

Whenever Coby jumps onto my bed to sleep (when i'm sleeping as well), he always curls up near my legs. But lately, he has developed a habit of sleeping right beside my head. As in, head on head. I'm not complaining 'cos it just feels like i got my favourite childhood soft-toy back (ooooh boy, how i lost it is a super long and sad story). Usually i fall right back to sleep with a smile on my face, but today i stayed wide awake, with a smile on my face. i got thinking on how much Coby has become such an important part of our (my family) lives.
when i watch my dad n mom spend time with Coby i can't help but to feel all warm n fuzzy inside. They've taken him in as their own and they've brought him up with soo much love. naturally, my brothers and i follow suit. though the eldest brother has only seen Coby for 2 months during his last hols back home, he's grown soo attached to Cobs that he never fails to ask about him every single time we talk. i've never expected myself to grow soo attached to something, especially an animal, especially a dog considering how horrible a fear i had of dogs. Dogs are honestly, the most amazing pets in the world. They don't ignore you, they love you unconditionally and they come back to you no matter how many times you turn them away. They just want to be a part of you and your life.And they never give up trying to do so. To me, no matter the colour, size or shape of the dog, they're all beautiful animals with genuine hearts. Coby has really been God's gift to my family and really he's one thing i'll never regret giving such unconditional love to. Mind you, i hardly use THE four letter word but when i use it i make sure i damn bloody right mean it. i LOVE you, Coby.

i'm really grateful to God and the amazing opportunity he has laid out infront of me. Thank you.

i cant wait to meet pri, fa, sha- the ppl who make me spontaneously blurt out my most embarrassing childhood stories.

To Rit: it's been a test of our friendship and we've been through enough. whatever it is, we're gonna pull through this together and i'll be there for you every single step of the way. I love you.

To May: I'm sorry and i'll make it up to you. Thank you soo damn bloody much for understanding. *hugs*

To Pri: You saved me from pulling every single strand of my hair out last night. Thank you for making my work sooo sooo much easier. Go run la.

To my eldest brother: Another person who saved me from last night's ordeal. Ah, the wonders of moral support through msn.

To Haowie: This fella has been an unsung hero. I've never told anyone how much he's helped me. I've always pushed him away when people started teasing us, but he has never once felt embarrassed about it 'cos he's been sincere in every action he's carried out. Thank you for all the late night msgs, the dinner at my prev workplace, the songs and the words of encouragement. you're truly one of a kind.

as hard as we all try to fight against being selfish, many of us cant help but to let that uglier side get the better of us. and when i saw that side of someone who means soo much to me, i was taken aback. it left me stumped for hours. and for once in a long, long time, i felt like i didn't know you at all.
okay, enough childish talk 'cos i still love you all the same.

my beautiful cousin, Anita left for australia last night to go further her studies. Although we weren't teary eyed at the airport, i know that im gonna miss her real bad. she has been encouraging me all this while to do what i love. so woot!! im getting moral support alllll the way from downunder.2 years.

You can fight the sleep but NOT the dream. sigh.

To those gg on holiday, PLEASE HV FUN AND COME BACK SAFELY. =)