Its jus like im standing on this cliff lookin out into this huge foggy abyss.
and my whole life, there's never been an abyss. It's been abyss-less.
I've always known exactly what is infront of me and i've always known exactly where im going.
and now, i don't know what's out there..besides a ton of fog.

No. of participants in the conversation:4
Name and gender: Pri (F), Sha(M), Fa (M), Rev (F)
*huge portions of the conversation have been removed due to explicit content.

-sha- says: im trying to imagine. i know pri and rev are
fA says: hahaha
pri says: oi
rev says: noo
-sha- says: hahahahahahaha
fA says: no need to imagine lar, i've seen tht since MI
pri says: seen wht?
rev says: eeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
fA says: hahahahaha


i soo f-ing miss them. please shapified, 9th june.

when you realise that the reason to why you don't wanna do lots of things is 'cos you're feeling "LAZY" , you know you're entering the danger zone.

Danger Zone = reduced brain activity, reduced physical activity, weight gain, decreased social activity (obviously), super-duper low self esteem = BAD.

Went for our beach outing. superbly fun. we couldnt get enough of the beeeach so as usual, we made plans to do it again.

Going through this week was kind of an emotional ride. you hear stuff and you try to make sense of all of them. and for some weird reason, the more unfortunate news you hear, the closer the ppl/person involved is to you. and it scares me to think that the next person who's gonna be appearing in the papers may come from.....ok, shut up.

in an effort to get rid of the 3.5 kg of extra baggage that i put on, effortlessly (the beach pics spoke for themselves), i've been either making smarter food choices or increasing physical activity. you realise i used EITHER, OR 'cos i never did them both on the same day. and that resulted in them cancelling out each other hence leaving me back at one (brian mcknight!). so this week i teamed them both together n managed to lose........... 1.5kg! woot woot! so tht wld leave me with 2.0kg plus an initial plan to lose 4.0 kg at the start of the year, which leaves me with a grand total of 6.0kg more to lose. phew. its all about FEELING good about yourself. Thats what really matters.

Rit asked if i had gotten over my shock of the American Idol results. haha! yes, shocked i was. shocked and disappointed. shocked 'cos i was expecting my favourite contestant to get ousted, BUT he didn't (i guess i shld be happy instead). disappointed 'cos the most deserving person did not make it to the finals. Maybe if it was Blake against Melinda i wld have been less shocked (and more satisfied) BUT it wld have also been pretty clear who wld win this yr's AI. so since Blake is in the finals, i will be sitting at the edge of my seat and watching it. pls America, vote wisely. and in case you don't know who he is, this is him.

VOTE BLAKE! (im totally jinx-ing him by doing this, oh no. i hope he sings Love Song again. swoon~)

full of 'BUTs'.

and please God, make the rest of the year less depressing than this week has been.

its just funny how ppl can ask the funniest qns and you have to keep a straight face while replying them so as not to look disrespectful. i mean, really, what do you tell someone who asks you,
"so what does your dog do when he's alone at home?"
hmm.
and my parents were telling me to learn to speak up. i burst out laughing but was stopped short when i realised how serious they looked. i can speak OUT but i have a phobia of speaking UP. it all started in 2004 when i exclaimed in exasperation,
"if only you WOMEN would listen to what she had to say, we wouldnt be here fighting over this"
and sure enough i got a serious lashing from the eldest brother for showing my true immaturity. n i stopped speaking UP after that 'cos i couldnt sleep peacefully for 10 days and 9 nights. and now that i got myself recollecting what i said 3 yrs ago, i probably wont be able to sleep peacefully for 9 days and 8 nights (ppl get more thick-skinned as they grow older). so, i was explaining to my parents that i dont want to regret what i say when i say what i really feel. besides, what i really want to say only comes to me an hour after a comment is made.okay.... maybe not that long but it takes some time for me to come back with something to say so i might as well save it. why would u want to risk hurting someone and making yourself look like an idiot at the same time? which reminds me of how i never was a good debater ESPECIALLY when it came to the rebuttal round. i remeber our inter-level debate competition where i had to rebut mr.shorty and it all came out sooo, sooo, sooooo wrong. i cringed, saw my GP teacher cringe, my fellow team mates cringe but the rest of the audience clapped their hands (they were probably jus trying to drown that particular argument with their claps). and that experience pretty much sealed the deal that i wasn't cut out for debating. and it also pretty much explains why i just walk away from a heated situation without saying a single word.BAD. my parents are right in saying that i should LEARN to speak up 'cos its sth tht is picked up from watching discussions around you and putting to practice what you see. but of course, being able to remain civilised is a whole different issue. so its all just a matter of practice. and the person i usually practice it on isnt really here, so that gives me an opportunity to procrastinate till he's back.
PLEASE STOP ME FROM TALKING.
we had our mom's day gathering #1. FUN. it also got me thinking 'bout girls who come from families where they have only sisters and girls who have only brothers. if you really analyse it, you'll realise tht there is an apparent difference in their behaviour. i know, no link to mom's day gathering but i shall dwell on that some other time when im in a better frame of mind and ready to SPEAK UP.
i cant wait to give mom her present, as unimaginative as it may be, i know she'll still appreciate it.
Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful moms out there.

i was thinkin that its been quite awhile since i came by, but actually its only been 12 days. not too bad considering my previous 2++ weeks hiatus some time back. very long time back actually. anyway, its been a pretty good 3 weeks since i left my workplace. mostly cos i dont have to see Coby's look of betrayal just after i say bye and shut the front door before leaving for work and feeling all that guilt for the rest of the day, 9 hrs a day, 5 days a week. painful, i tell you. as i was saying, the 3 weeks have been pretty eventful involving 'Martha Stewart' moments which i would have normally shied away, no, scrammed from but instead i did them with great pleasure. its just funny how things that are normally considered a chore become therapeutic all of a sudden.
speaking of Martha, met up with mat, sam n rit...like finally. really glad that rit is back safe n sound from her holidays. watched spiderman 3, which wasnt AS disappointing as i expected it to be. a couple of 'yawn'able moments but other than that it was pretty good. the most gorgeous thing in the movie has to be the black spidey costume (though i noe SAM and RIT wld BEG to differ).
then there came the talk of fears. it wasnt sth that i was planning on talking about but leave me in the same room as Rit at approx 2 am in the morning and many, many things seem to find their way out of that usually reticent mouth of mine. so with a whole bAggage of bull disposed off, i feel like im ready to face the world all over again. come on world, throw what you have at me and i'll take it like a TRUE errr.. woman.
and then Pri was talkin to me like a proud mother about her medic 'son'. mine's a field instructor k?! woot woot! hehe. and pls pri, find a way to solve the situation at hand. LOL.
i dunno, but im beginning to find OTH a little crappy. Blake, sigh. Grey's still as rosy as it is and Heroes!! thanks Rit. my ultimate lifesaver. i can now watch FMC (recall: first major crush) w/o any disruption.
mom's day is coming up real soon and unlike last yr (recall: cooking for the moms), everyone seems to be too busy with work or school. so its jus gonna be a run-of-the-mill gathering. no, make that 2 gatherings. better than nothing i say, 'cos its been some time since we've seen each other.
and lastly,
george: it didnt mean anything, right?
izzie: right. it didnt mean anything at all.