every once in a while, we all need that reality check. and recently, mine came in the form of really unfortunate and depressing news.
I ingenuously admit that i often get morally blinded by my desire to attain certain material things in life, to the point where i forget to stop and ask myself "do i really need this?" and "how is this seriously gonna benefit those around me?"
i do, every once in a while (but much, much more often before) thank God for the happiness and good health that He has granted me n my family and for giving me awesome friends. and on good days, i even thank Him for keeping the country n its people safe.
i used to unfailingly before pickin up the pen to write my first word on any exam script, ask Him to give me and those around me the ability to do our best.
and whenever i used to feel that i could not control my anger, fear, pain and sadness i used to always say a silent prayer n feel fine the next minute.
He was the first to share my happiness and my sorrows.
Unfort, things have changed. And for once i have no one else to blame for this strained relationship but myself.
So God, i noe it's been a really long time since we've spoken and i may be a mean person for only coming to you when i need something. But please just grant this one, sincere prayer and that is to give my fren, her mom and her family the strength to pull through this extremely difficult time. Please be with them.

The past few weeks brought back an overwhelming sense of nostalgia,
Milo Ventimiglia.
Now how cool was tht.
And if you already didn't know, Milo Ventimiglia is the guy who allowed me to bring my First Major Crush (FMC) back home. Back home on the telly. 'Cos FMC looked like Milo. well, to me at least. and if you're thinkin "wow! you mean there's a guy living on the same island as me who looks that good?" the answer is a big fat YES. and if you're also wonderin who and where exactly he is, i really dunno man, 'cos i've had that same bloody question on my mind for the past 3 years. come to think of it, he might have flown to the M.E. where things are supposedly more exciting and more suited to his taste
But what i wld never, ever forget is May walkin right up to him, pointin to him and shoutin to me "This one?". Even Jasmine who was hard of hearing (and beside me at that time) cringed.
And by the way, hearing impaired may seem like a more politically correct term, but honestly, quite a number of them don't like being called that.
And then the second wave of nostalgia hit me as i got reminded of Sha, Pri, Fa and Myself sucking in our breaths whenever we heard our teacher say "Let me return you the tests you did last week." The looks of anticipation we gave the person out of the four of us who got back their paper first. Sha and i foldin the top 1/3 of our test paper, Pri with her paper flat on the table and leaning back with her arms crossed, Fa with his "Oops i did it again" smile. To think that i won't be able to experience that anymore.
And the 3rd wave of nostalgia lasted frm 10pm to 5am. Details yet to be sorted out.
So i guess FMC took a major chunk of the "overwhelming sense of nostalgia." And if you do happen to see him, running ard with his dodgy lookin bag and cap, run...as far and fast as you possibly can.

HAHA!
mighty long since i've been here. ever since i started working things have taken a drastic turn, maybe for the better. the working hours may be slightly crazy and many many times i wish i cld be home having dinner with my parents. but i guess the people i see and meet at work make up for the lost, sometimes, most of the times. and i don't remember treasuring my weekends this much while i was still in school. every second becomes soo precious tht it has to be spent doing something fun or useful or interesting.
And hrmph.... i still think that the album of the year shld have gone to John Mayer or Gnarls Barkley or Red Hot Chilli Peppers or heck, maybe even JT. Anyone but them.
Oooh well, i guess not everything you wish for comes true.
Anyway, if u celebrate that thing they call Valentine's Day, Happy V-day to you then..
WET BLANKET.
heh. =)


Staying home alone on a friday,
Flat on the floor looking back,
On old love, Or lack thereof.
After all the crushes are faded,
And all my wishful thinking was wrong,
I'm jaded, I hate it.