ok..so i was cleanin out my room.. bout time..didnt really hv a choice.. when i came across pics and letters and books and pressies frm the past.. talk abt blast from the past..lol.
it did not make my room cleanin any easier cos i couldnt help but look thru all the cards and pics.. phew...
n then i came across a particular pic.. of me n some1.. hmm, im nt exactly ready to say who tht person is.. but the moment i saw tht pic i felt a sudden clarity of thought..n i felt relieved..tht things changed.. =)
ok ok ok..then i came across a book of baby names.. i cant believe my parents actually bought tht book.. it was prob bought when my mom was expectin my eldest bro.. which is like 23 years ago..(god knows how it ended up in MY room).. n i couldnt help but wonder, which parent would name their kid Blasia (Meaning : She who stammers).. or Lombard (Meaning : Long bearded one) or.. Hastings (Meaning : Son of violence) and Burnell (Meaning : Little one with brown hair...umm, its meant for boys who'll eventually become men)... of cos there were really pretty n simple names like Carla (Meaning : Beautiful), Jesse (Meaning : God's gift)..
But for now, i'ld love to have a Ludella (Meaning: pixie maid) to finish cleaning my room.. so tht i can go shop wit Edwina (Meaning : Rich friend) and hopefully bump into Kevin (Meaning : Gentle, kind and lovable)....
see ya!

p.s. if u HAPPEN to come across this and HAPPEN to hv any of the above names mentioned (burnell, blasia, lombard..) i think u hv a really cool name.. *wink*

This happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. Sound and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then, the moment is gone......

im sure many, many of us can relate to tht.. for e.g. when ur having a GREAT time wit your frens and u jus dont want it to end.. or when ur havin some quiet time wit the ones who matter the most and makin plans for the future: where we're gona b living, working, eating, chilling, dreaming, together.. or when ur eyes set upon another amazingly, pair of brown eyes, staring right back at u, n u unconsciously suck in all ur breath....or when u've been wanting, hoping and wishing for sth for months but when u finally get it u jus dont want it anymore..and tht moment of wonder, hope, uncertainty ends jus like that.. sometimes, for the better...

today.. i ran into a stranger, who told me sth (tht sha also once told me) that i swear by:
when u ask God for sth, and he doesnt give it to you.. there's always a reason: ur jus not ready for it..

n true enough, IF i dont get promoted or dont find someone i can trust my heart wit, or dont get to eat caviar wit every single meal or dont get to lose weight or dont get to spend the entire night gettin wasted at some club or dont get to buy that pair of shoes i've been eyeing...it jus means tt im not ready to have it.. but it sure doesnt give one an excuse to stop chasin their dreams, jus cos it's so bloody hard to attain, and take it tht god thinks u're not ready for it.. tht wld b totally stupid of u...... heh.
sometimes, i jus cant help but wonder, if not now.....then, when?? n i guess the answer lies only within me..



for the record, ive nv used so many "or's" in a piece of writing before..Hmm..

today officially marks the end of my promos, 2005 (yay).
i've been one tree hill'ing. haha.as i promised myself.
it takes me away frm it all.u noe, like an anti-depressant.
actually i've had a pretty weird week, apart frm the papers.
i've learnt many, many things. one of which happened yest.
how many ppl(strangers) actuallly make eye contact wit you and smile at u- in the bus?
like.....none? well, i guess i have to admit, im quite a grouch when im travellin in the bus, alone..
but there was this girl frm a special sch who boarded the bus n sat on one of the seats tht faced the rest of the passengers on the bus..
i didnt really take much notice of her..but i got eye contact wit her aft some time n she flashed me the most(other than my mom's) brilliant smile tht i have ever seen. it was jus amazin =)

somebody.. SHOOT ME!
ARGH... 4 days.. 4 more freaking days!
no, let's make tht 3.. cos i dont really give a **** bout the last phy spa..
in the midst of battlin exam stress, i cant help but think of....
yes.. LOVE..
not the bgr one.. but the more unconditional and genuine one..
frm family n frens..hahaha..
oh god..im such a 'bgr'ist.. (geddit geddit? racist, 'bgr'ist)..
i guess i'll always be one till i finally "experience wht it is like" -frm the mouths of two very wise ppl...a.k.a Sandra and pri..
sandra has been buggin me to go get attached.. not to *ahem* though.. any1 but *ahem*..ASS..
she makes it sound so..... easy. she thinks i have high expectations (okay, this is the cue for pri, sha and fa to burst out laughing.......shut up)
anyway, im on the brim of not gettin promoted.. yes, i bet u didnt noe tht..
i have made very careful calculations (worst-case scenarios, which r bound to happen)
and i have concluded tht unless i do ****ing well, my ass aint moving to 04s1'06..
its gona b in 05s1.. now.. tht sounds.. really wrong.. hmm
last yr was such a breeze..it wasnt abt gettin promoted, it was bout gettin quality grades..
sigh.. things change..
i cant let my tchers down, my b-gang, prav, rit, my *ahem*, my grandparents, my aunties and uncles, my cousins, my pet fishes and most importantly MY FAMILY!..
*soB*.. basketcase..
i jus have a really bad feelin bout this promos...



oh ritty, this song jus got me thinkin of ya...

Can u imagine no love, pride, deep fried chicken,
Your best fren always stickin up for you,
Even when i noe ur wrong.
Can u imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance,
5 hour phone conversations,
The best soy latte that u ever had n.....me.

in memory of my two hotties
























its the forearms n eyes...wht did i tell ya.......

and so, the most tumultuous time of the year is here..
the sick papers started today.. with my ever favourite, chemistry..
it soo rocked.. = (
followed by phy, where pri n i ended up sittin beside each other..
though we didnt make full use of the opportunity (cos we couldnt! the invigilator was SO attracted to the space b/n us.. of ALL places..) it jus felt good knowin tht pri was beside me..
did a very very very stupid thing by only sleepin for an hour last night..
was SLEEPY like hell durin the phy papers..
there's only one paper tmr.. yippee..tht means i have the rest of the day and the rest of the week free! cos there arent any papers till next mon..
have to carry on my last min revision over the long weekend, much needed one...
finally, reality started to kick in today.. while waitin to enter the exam venue...
"wht if i dont make it thru this promos?"..
i cannot imagine 04s1 wit any new additions (or subtractions) next yr.. i love it the way it is..
NOOOoo..



You and I, we're two of a kind,
I hate to say it but you'll never relate,
what makes you tick?
It makes me smile.
You said that I should get away from it all,
and bury my head in the sand if I want to,
I think you ...should thank me now.
You're just another girl.

this is CRAZY..
GP paper was.... ...... ..
at least its one less paper now...
and as i was sayin..it has been CRAZY..
i've been dreamin way TOO much..
not BAD dreams..but..
dreams tht leave me thinkin..when i wake up..
-been there once before-
-please DO NOT go there again-
yes, i wld need YOUR help..
pls, flood me wit the details..BAD ones..
n pls, stop ur eye thingy or
acknowledgin or..
disgusting look or.. whtever u call it..

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY..

loved the pressie skinny, thnks! =)